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  • Amy Do

WIB's St. Patrick's Game Day Through The Eyes Of Someone Who Came In Dead Last

This year’s St. Patrick’s game day event was hosted by Devanie and the Fundraising committee. We were promised food, fun, and games for participating and I decided to go as every Fundraising event prior was a smashing success. Upon arriving at the game day room, I was immediately shook down by Jacky from the Corporate Relations committee.

“There is an $8 entrance fee” she said, like a WIB gate-guardian.

Luckily god gives me a dollar every day I’m single so I had money to spare. I gladly paid her, knowing that my money would go into the bountiful coffers of WIB.

As I finished paying up, I took a look around the St. Patrick’s Day decorated room. There were around 20 or so girls, and I began scouting them out in preparation. I did not come here to lose. However, my scheming proved to be fruitless as we were placed into random groups of four.

My amazing team, the one that lost with me, consisted of Zoe, Shaimaa, and Mabel from the Athena/MD, Fundraising/Marketing, and Fundraising committees respectively. I was not well acquainted with any of these girls, and except for Zoe, this was the first time I had ever spoken to any of them. It was nice meeting them (big shout out if you’re reading this and giving our blog some traffic!) and our lack of familiarity did not deter us from being ready to demolish our enemies.

Our first task, as explained by Farrah, was tower building. We were given a handful of marshmallows and sticks of uncooked pasta for materials in constructing an architecturally sound food building. It was like an art project in kindergarten一if art class was competitive and designed to give five year olds debilitating amounts of stress.

Every marshmallow fiber in that food monstrosity we built was desperately clinging onto dear life. Those pasta sticks were strained down to their very molecular level just trying to hold themselves together for more than one second. To put it lightly, my team and I are no architects. So it came as no surprise when that marshmallow/pasta tower project came crumbling down—just like my hopes and dreams.

Ranking: Last Place

However, my team was not dissuaded by this loss. No, rather, we were determined to move on and win. I was ready. I was so unbelievably ready. I was so unbelievably, absolutely ready that even when I—a rhythmically and musically challenged person—saw that the next event included lip syncing, got up and started stretching.

BIG MISTAKE. Even now, as I am writing this article 48 hours later, there is still a tingling sensation in the back of my skull that comes from trying to access deeply repressed memories. Let me explain. Farrah came around with a hat filled with numbers and I happened to pick #1, allowing my team and I to get first choosings on the song we wanted to lip sync to. We thought One Direction’s What Makes You Beautiful was a good decision. Looking back, I wish I could go back in time and tell us no. For those of you reading this, please do not choose a song you only have a rudimentary knowledge of just because you think Zayn is cute.

I’m sure there are already videos of this horribly unchoreographed, unsynchronized, and unbelievably cheesy lip sync floating around WIB social media somewhere, so I’ll spare you the strenuous and embarrassing details. All I can say for myself is that I gave it my all and danced like a suburban woman named Barbara at her high school reunion circa 2007. Ultimately, the judges were not impressed and we were eliminated.

Ranking: Dead Last

I was psychologically damaged. My team was in a disarray. There was not much hope. We walked into the next challenge praying that things could not get any worse.

For the next game, we were tasked with taking turns within our groups and stringing together random words into a fully coherent sentence. I’d like to believe that since we were all so frazzled and deeply shamefaced, a sort of connection had formed between us. I call it the loser’s connection. Somehow, our brain frequencies had become attuned with one another and we were able to write a semi-coherent sentence. Sure our topic sentence may have dealt with illegal substances and subsequently cat shelters, but it was a sentence nonetheless, and we proudly earned 2nd place for it.

Ranking: Still Dead Last But Slowly Improving

Finally, it came time for the last challenge. I was in such a weary and fragile state of mind. My team and I had faced so many highs and lows that day. It was a whirlwind of emotions. That is why, when asked, I cannot explain myself as to why I volunteered to be blindfolded in the last game’s maze challenge. Maybe I did not want to see the woman I had become. I don’t know. There’s not a lot I can say about it. Everything was dark. I did a lot of crawling and little bit of crying. Again, there are videos of this somewhere. Find it if you wish, but don’t look me in the eyes after you do. I just can’t face that kind of judgement.

Ranking: The Kind of Last Place That Makes You Want To Close Your Eyes

10/10 would recommend. Catch me at the next fundraising event!

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